Ninth

Nine years ago I got to marry the best man I’ve ever known. It was a surprise, small wedding at the back of a restaurant in Portland, Oregon. We had a small group of attendees, which suited my introversion well. We made our own vows. Our officiant told the story of Naomi and Ruth, reminding us that love is a decision and a commitment and we lived it.

I miss my husband–the man who would pull me close and say in a low voice “mine.”

Today is a good day because we had that day and so many more afterward. Today is a hard day because he’s not here with me the way I want him to be.

If you see me today and my nose is runny, my eyes a little puffy, my cheeks blotchy, just know that all off the feelings are close to the surface.