Aunt Becci’s Mean Dip

It’s time to share one of my most favorite things to make at the end of summer–“Mean Dip.” I always like to grow a variety of peppers from mild bell to some version of atomic-devil-death. Jalapenos definitely get pride of place as I find them to be the superior pepper. I ususally grow two or three plants. I also have Hungarian Wax, Pablanos, Cayenne, Anaheim, and something this year called Purple Death. I’ve been sharing here and there with neighbors and friends as the plants have been putting on fruit, but by September, I’m able to do a big harvest. Yesterday, I got enough to make a big batch of Mean Dip.

First step preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Get a baking sheet and drizzle olive oil all over. Next, slice up all your peppers, the more seeds and the hotter the peppers, the meaner the dip. I also do one full bulb of garlic, peeled and each clove halved. I make sure the pan is thickly covered with the peppers and garlic and I top with a little more olive oil and some ground cumin.

Then I bake these beauties for 25 minutes. Once they’re out of the oven, I put them into a food processor and blend with a little more olive oil, some red wine vinegar, and salt & pepper. Don’t ask me how much, I eyeball it. Do what looks good. Once it’s fully blended, I take it all out and then use about 1/4-1/3 c of the pepper blend to one brick of cream cheese. I ended up with four cups of the pepper blend and ended up mixing it a little at a time with eight bricks of cream cheese.

This isn’t the meanest of the Mean Dips I’ve ever made, and I suspect the next round will have a couple more of the Purple Death peppers. This round only had one. My nephew, Brennan, said it could be meaner. Mary, my kiddo, called it “Spicy Nice.” I can tell you this though, it’s addictive and ridiculously delicious. Eat it with tortilla chips, crackers, cut veggies, anything you can think of.

There’s a reason I only make this once a year.

Recipes

I love looking up and trying out new recipes I find on the internet. I’m always checking for which ones have the highest ratings, the most number of reviews, and most definitely a “JUMP TO RECIPE” button as I’m not terribly interested in full life stories right before dinner. I appreciate that I can read a couple reviews and know which spice to double or what isn’t necessary. Bryan and I used to chuckle about the review/comment sections and how it seemed very much like church ladies kibbitzing at a potluck. My big brother is very organized with his recipes and the best ones get added to an app. My sister likes to look over about five different recipes for the same thing and then glean out the best ideas to come up with her own. For me, once I find a winner, and it has to be WORTHY, I handwrite it in the special cookbook my bonus mom gave me YEARS ago. This will be magnum opus. Maybe…

That’s the great thing about recipes, we come to them with our own tastes, experiences and preferences. I’m never shy about sharing a recipe with people because I know it will be different than what I make. It’s just the nature of individuals. That’s how I feel about sharing my experiences with grief. This is how I’ve been doing it. Maybe it’s helpful to some. Maybe it’s a hard pass for others. That’s okay. These are my recipes.

This weekend marked another important, painful milestone. I put Bryan’s skis away. A piece of me feels lilke I keep losing him again and again. Other pieces know it’s important to keep moving forward and that looking at those skis hurt, too. He’s still here in my heart and mind. I haven’t lost that and this Friday we get to share time and memories together; we’ve got that.

As far as recipes goes, I firmly believe in adding double the vanilla, or (fresh) garlic, or laughter, or joy nuggets and most definitely love. As Bryan would say, “your mileage may vary.”

[If you get a little extra out of my writing, you’re welcome to add to my virtual tip jar here: https://venmo.com/u/Rebecca-Lubbers-1]