I love looking up and trying out new recipes I find on the internet. I’m always checking for which ones have the highest ratings, the most number of reviews, and most definitely a “JUMP TO RECIPE” button as I’m not terribly interested in full life stories right before dinner. I appreciate that I can read a couple reviews and know which spice to double or what isn’t necessary. Bryan and I used to chuckle about the review/comment sections and how it seemed very much like church ladies kibbitzing at a potluck. My big brother is very organized with his recipes and the best ones get added to an app. My sister likes to look over about five different recipes for the same thing and then glean out the best ideas to come up with her own. For me, once I find a winner, and it has to be WORTHY, I handwrite it in the special cookbook my bonus mom gave me YEARS ago. This will be magnum opus. Maybe…
That’s the great thing about recipes, we come to them with our own tastes, experiences and preferences. I’m never shy about sharing a recipe with people because I know it will be different than what I make. It’s just the nature of individuals. That’s how I feel about sharing my experiences with grief. This is how I’ve been doing it. Maybe it’s helpful to some. Maybe it’s a hard pass for others. That’s okay. These are my recipes.
This weekend marked another important, painful milestone. I put Bryan’s skis away. A piece of me feels lilke I keep losing him again and again. Other pieces know it’s important to keep moving forward and that looking at those skis hurt, too. He’s still here in my heart and mind. I haven’t lost that and this Friday we get to share time and memories together; we’ve got that.
As far as recipes goes, I firmly believe in adding double the vanilla, or (fresh) garlic, or laughter, or joy nuggets and most definitely love. As Bryan would say, “your mileage may vary.”
[If you get a little extra out of my writing, you’re welcome to add to my virtual tip jar here: https://venmo.com/u/Rebecca-Lubbers-1]
Feryl Files 