Love is a choice. Sure there are emotions and tingly good feelings some of the time. But every word spoken, every interaction, every deed are choices. Paul, in 1 Corinthians 13, goes to some length in describing the selflessness and lack of ego in love. The Greeks, ever-enamored with categorizing, have different words for different kinds–agape, eros, philia. Jesus tells us to love our enemies. Music describes love as everything from longing to sex to romantic relationships to friendship. Humans are at their best when motivated by love unpolluted by revenge or ego. And some people are REALLY DIFFICULT to love and we’re supposed to love them too. And some people are really easy to love.
When Bryan and I first started chatting, I discovered he was a little older than I originally thought. He was athletic and youthful so I thought maybe late 30s. Nope. Mid-40s. I remember saying to myself, “Is this a red flag?” And then deciding it wasn’t. Then I found out he had a daughter, a teenage daughter. “Red flag?” Once I met her, it was clear that it wasn’t either. We had a lot of fun the three of us, planting flowers, carving pumpkins, going on trips, cooking, talking/debating, listening to music, playing games.
Over the past few days, Mary’s mom, step-dad, godparents, extended family, family of choice, and friends got to share in celebrating her 30th birthday. The details are hers to share if and when she wants to. What I know of a certainty is that I’m lucky beyond measure to get to be her step-mom. Loving her is an easy choice–one of the easiest I know.
Feryl Files 
Happy birthday to Mary! I’ve loved reading about your relationship with her.
“The details are hers to share…” I am terrible at honoring boundaries like that. For example, I didn’t ask my friends if I could post photos of them in swimsuits yesterday. Oof. (Granted, they were standing the water & the photo was not a closeup). I think people just know by now that If I’m there it’s getting documented.
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