Gratitude and Relief

This week, like every week prior, has had its ups and downs. Tuesday was a particularly difficult day, and the bounce back from it has taken a bit of rest and solitude. But what came out of that day and the recovery since are two major items taken off my to-do list.

Several times throughout the past few months whether it was cleaning out Bryan’s office at Whitman, preparing for his service, or any number of really difficult tasks, the consistent refrain is “but we only have to do this once.” This week’s tasks, which I’ve been avoiding/procrastining/pushing away, are now completed and I don’t have to do them again. Phew. I’m so grateful for that fact.

But there have been things this week for which I am grateful that are in no way related to heartbreak. I’m listening to Brene’ Brown’s Atlas of the Heart on Audible. I get to hear her voice in my kitchen while I’m cleaning and it feels like a close girlfriend is sharing insights and clarifying terms to help me moving forward. What a gift! I got treated to lunch by a former colleague at the NIRA at TMac’s yesterday and enjoyed catching up. I’ve gotten a lot of paintings done and have loved sitting on my back deck listening to music and observing my garden while I do so.

Yesterday evening I went to an event at Quirk, a local brewery, where LGBTQ folks and allies are invited to relax and visit. This was my first time attending Queer Cheer in support of Mary and her housemate and it was really lovely and a good reminder that a. we all need love and support and b. we’re all walking each other home. Did I have an intense urge to bring everyone home, feed them, pinch their cheeks, and call them bubuleh? Yes, yes I did. But I restrained myself. This once.

Throughout this week, I’ve had people checking in on me, encouraging me, making me laugh, reminding me of myself, and even calling me on my shit. As much as the latter irritates me, I’m eternally grateful for it.

And since it’s the 14th of July, I’d like to conclude with a little nod to my second country: