Today snuck up on me like a rogue wave. Big. Calamitous. Surprising. It’s the aftermath of the big waves that’s so rough. Feeling exhausted. Feeling small in a big ocean. I know not every day is like this. I know not even every moment is like this. But I would be a damned liar if I didn’t admit they happen regularly.
I miss my person. I miss my best friend. I miss my closest confidant. I miss my greatest champion. I miss the love of my life. And I appreciate so much the folks who remind me of the ways he’s still with me, in my heart. But I’m bereft of his hugs and the way he curled around me. The way he put his face in my neck telling me how much he loved the way I smell. Holding on to me like we were the only two people in the universe.
I feel amputated. I feel naked. I feel very alone.
I also know feelings are transient. I acknowledge them. I feel them. I’m devastated by them. And I wait for the sunshine again.
Feryl Files 
Big, huge feelings Becci. I’m so sorry you have to experience them. Also….my phone just tried to auto correct your name into Be Cute. Not sure what message the universe is sending there. Thought you should know about it thought.
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I’m gutted for you – and that’s not a tenth of what you feel for your own self.
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Ahhhh… Becci… I hear the pain in your words.
I feel the tears . And the deep missing.
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