Invitation

Bryan and I wrote our own vows for our wedding. Do I have them written down on paper anywhere? No. Do I have them written on my heart? Yes. One component of our vows was not just to each other, but to how we would be as a couple to others, specifically with regard to hospitality. We pledged to make our home a welcoming place together and I think we did a pretty good job. Even when Covid was at its worst, we figured out how to show movies on the front porch so we could be in fresh air and distance as safely as possible. For a number of years, we’ve had my cousins’ kids come spend time during spring breaks and summers. We loved hosting dinner parties, porch gatherings, backyard BBQs, cookie-decorating parties at Christmastime, cooking parties with our foodie friends. Bryan wanted the parties to last longer and I was notorious for making the list bigger–well-matched, the two of us. We loved when out-of-town guests would come to stay and see them wake up well-rested and refreshed, always sending them home with something from the garden or leftovers from the meal or a plate of cookies. Sometimes Bryan and I would chuckle about how late guests would occasionally stay, well past my bedtime, and smile at ourselves the next day–you can’t make a home restful and welcoming and comforting and then wonder why people don’t want to leave. :o)

This past weekend, many attendees at Bryan’s service and the other events surrounding it made mention of how important it is to gather during life and not just at these heartbreaking milestones. I couldn’t agree more. Bryan and I were very deliberate about that very thing and following through. A long time ago, I invited a friend form Australia to visit any time. Years later she asked, “did you mean it?” Of course, I said! Upon my word, she came to stay and we were thrilled to have her. And then she did it again because we all liked that visit so well the first time!

One of Bryan’s favorite sayings: “Walla Walla is not the end of the road, but you can see it from here.” It’s no easy feat to get to this small, southeastern Washington town, but for all that, we have such beauty, kindness, fun, good food, good beverage, good company, live music, outdoor activities (I’m not saying move here, just visit ;o). And if it works out, I have a spare room with a queen-sized bed, a big kitchen, and a most excellent porch for summer sitting and sipping.

One of our yearly traditions of gathering is a porch-pop up sale the first Sunday in May where I invite my friend Jennifer of Miles Away Farm to sell her plant starts (the valencia tomatoes are my favorite!) and my friend Aly of Detour Farms to sell her candles–so great! I sell Feryl Designs jewelry and my sister and I sell our artwork. 50% of the jewelry sales and 100% of the art sales go to support our Mom’s memorial nursing scholarship at Walla Walla University. We provide refreshments and convivial conversation. (This year it’s May 7 from 10am-4pm).

It’s crucial to my sense of self to continue these things that Bryan and I built, this legacy of hospitality and gathering in good times every bit as much as the hard, sad times. Also, if you’ve invited me to visit, you better bet your bottom dollar, I’m headed your way, too.