Dreadticipation

It’s not a word; it should be. This Sunday is Bryan’s celebration of life. A piece of me is looking forward to seeing people who also loved my person gathered in his memory and honor. I want to hear stories I’ve not heard before, learn how his life affected others. That will be very good indeed.

And I dread it all, too. As an introvert and a highly sensitive person, it’s hard not to feel everything in a room full of people and this room full of people will be wholly different and on a magnitude that kind of scares me. I know what my broken heart feels like, but seeing it in others too…ooph.

So, how can I refocus on what is good and not what hurts so dang much. It’s a beautiful spring. Our tulips are late and just in time for this weekend. People are coming from all over the country to celebrate Bryan and love Mary and me. The venue, the caterers, all our close friends and family have been encouraging us and offering their solace, support, and care. The one thing that has never been in doubt is the love. The love Bryan had for us, we for him and for each other. And love doesn’t die.