A month. How is that even real? A friend and her husband who are retired/semi-retired came by for a visit. We talked about the nature of time and they made reference to their nickname for how the days kind of meld together–“Blursday” was their affectionate term. I find that to be incredibly apt. Time is still an accordion. Time with my bestie and sister went so fast. The evenings all by myself go on forever. Is it too early to go to bed? Can I wait until at least 9pm? Then off to bed and sleep escapes me. That time drags on and on. At least I have folks in Australia, Hawaii, or the Eastern time zone who I can message.
The 20th of this month is our eighth wedding anniversary. My birthday follows on shortly afterward in April. These benchmarks of being without are the rites of passage for all who have lost someone. These are just mine and I’m dreading them.
Feryl Files 
Becci, I have gone through the “year of firsts” many times. I too have dreaded countless milepost dates. I have found that some of them were not as bad/sad as I had anticipated, but a time to still celebrate the lost ones by doing something they would have enjoyed, something they would gladly do with you if they could.
And…. there are times, not just on the milepost days, when the grief hits you like a sneaker wave…. A GIANT sneaker wave….tossing you around, leaving you crashed on the rocks, only to grab you and toss you around more. Seems like you won’t come up for air again, then the wave leaves you alone on the beach.
For me, it was best to deal with those damn sneaker waves when they came and cling to the safety of cherished moments the rest of the time.
Now, I celebrate all birthdays and anniversaries, special times remembered as often as possible. I bake, cook, and of course have special “creative days” to help me take back those days.
Here’s a big HUG!!
Enjoy your BLURSDAY!! 😂
Teri
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Holding you in my heart, friend.
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