It is good to laugh. We laughed a lot yesterday, a couple of times were jeopardy-of-an-accident laughs, and it felt really good. I don’t want to paint a picture that there wasn’t laughter during the past several months, because there absolutely was. Exchanged memes, terrible jokes (my favorite), pet videos, comedian clips, Bryan and my communication foibles were all part of the survival kit.
But now in this next phase of things, laughter is even more critical. Mary has a saying she’s stated and I’ve borrowed a lot: “Are you okay? No, but I’m funny.” She and I have often coped with a special humor that we’ve honed together since she was 15. Appropriate? Not really. Dark? A little. Guaranteed to crack us up when we need it most? Absolutely. Craig, my big brother, is also incredibly funny. He’s a great story-teller and shared many funny anecdotes. We also watched a lot of stand-up specials while he was here, a thing we’ve done since my teenage years. He and I still quote some of our favorites from long ago–“I can’t eat cheese…” Lori, my bestie, can find the humor any time, any where and then make references to it periodically to bring us back to that exact moment. It’s a tremendous gift. We heard some live music in town yesterday, young college-aged fellas, some on instruments, and one singer, very earnest. As we turned the corner off of Main Street, we heard a rendition of “Isn’t She Lovely” that I’m not sure my words could adequately describe. Let’s just say, every time I got a sad, far-off look in my eye, she’d replicate what we heard and have me in stitches all over again.
There is still joy in this world. There are still moments of laughter. I catch myself so wanting to share those with my person and tell him all the funny things so I can hear him laugh too. I suspect that will always be a part of my life going forward. Bryan often described how he wished he could ask and share things with his parents. I feel that too with mine and my oldest brother, Todd, and now Bryan. This is how we keep our loved ones alive in our hearts, I suppose, imagining them in on the jokes we so desperately wish we could share in person.
Feryl Files 
I had a conversation with my mom just the other day. I think it was while I was doing some cleaning, which I hate to do. She cleaned houses as her job for a while & sometimes took me along to dust. To this day I HATE dusting. You should see the “patina” in my house. Anyway, I told her she would just have to get over the dust. Then I got a little teary.
I love that humor was something special between Bryan and you. Mike & I have that too and I know that losing the other half of inside jokes must be so hard. I’m glad that you have that with other folks in your life too – that will surely help.
LikeLiked by 2 people