March 3, 2023

In this tiny little corner of this tiny blue dot, I find it remarkable how necessary it has been to create visual shifts. I bought a new shower curtain and bathroom rug, a new tablecloth. Today I got a haircut. Don’t worry, it wasn’t anything drastic. Orlando is protective and kind, so just a nice trim and refresh. These are modest and superficial changes, but the impact on my heart and mind are pretty intense. These are the pleasant versions of the story. The less-than-pleasant versions are returning the seldom-used, tags-still-on walker back to Norco or packaging up the Optune device that was described as the best FDA approved post-radiation therapy available for glioglastoma patients. It also took up a lot of real estate in our home and emotional and mental energy. Did it even help? I start down those paths and find them incredibly unproductive, but the act of taking the boxes to the UPS store and shipping them back felt right.

I look inside kitchen cabinets where I had just shoved items, no time to organize or plan. Unpacking and sorting those seems much more manageable than some of the other tasks ahead of me. The fridge needs another culling. Can you hear the beginnings of shoulding on myself? All in due time, right? “Baby steps, Bob.”

My bestie arrived from Fort Wayne this evening. We have a whole week. I’m so glad she’s here. I’m glad for the company and the calm.