[It’s November 1st, and I’m going to challenge myself to write every day for the 30 days of gratitude prompts. I hope you’ll join along and maybe share some of yours.]
When I was little and we lived in Cleveland, Ohio, winters were incredibly cold and snowy. “Lake effect” is something we heard a lot. On Sabbath mornings, my mama would dress me in cute dresses and wool tights to keep me warm. Wool and my skin aren’t friends and I discovered that at a tender age. When I was eight or nine, my Auntie Lila would help prepare me baths that would sooth my skin. Under stress, and one’s parents divorcing certainly qualifies, my body reacts and often it’s my skin that takes the brunt of things. I joke with folks a lot that “I’m not built for hard living” or that I’m a “delicate flower.” Truth is, I’m tougher than I let on and more so than I would prefer having to be, but such is life. So, I clothe myself in cotton and surround myself with soft things. I’m careful with detergents and soaps as they can aggravate things too.
Right now, as I type this, I’m in a pair of Bryan’s plaid fleece pants and a cotton waffle-weave shirt. I have three blankets I’m cuddled under–one is an afghan Bryan’s mom crocheted years ago and the other two are the softest, snuggliest blankets I’ve ever owned. One is from my first cousin, Melissa, who gave it to me just before Bryan died, knowing the necessity of soft comfort while dealing with brutal pain. The other is from another first cousin, Jonell, who made me a warm fuzzy blanket that can convert into a pillow. I feel loved and hugged every time I use them.
This external comfort is so meaningful to me because it goes from the outside in just like the stress and anxiety comes from the inside to the outside of my body in uncomfortable ways. They’re connected for me in visceral ways. I am physically comforted and in that process become emotionally and spiritually comforted, too. I am grateful for this softness. Much can be hard, scratchy, and irritating in life. Those measures to mitigate it, especially when given in love, make it far better.
Feryl Files 