Tag: resilience

Stitious?

ferylfiles

I have a jade plant. I got it at the Whitman College biology plant sale AGES ago. When I first got it, it was maybe three inches tall. I had learned as a teenager that a jade plant meant good fortune in a monetary sense. I thought maybe I could use a little extra help at the time. Of course I’m not superstitious, just a little stitious. That plant grew to be quite large and unwieldy. In fact, I had it in the kitchen window where I was hesitant to touch or turn it for fear of losing one of the stems. Ultimately, I did and had to prune it off.

Bryan got sick not long after. I always had this sinking feeling like maybe my futzing with the jade plant had some correlation to his illness. I know. I know. Illogical. Superstitious. That branch broke and our good fortune took a turn. That’s what it seemed like/felt like.

Last week, I woke one morning to one of the branches drooping. I nearly had a panic attack. Is this a sign of my ultimate demise? Silly rabbit. I got so mad at myself, I immediately looked up jade plant care. I had not taken the best possible care of this plant, turning it regularly, putting it in the best light, and routinely pruning so that it remained bushy and less leggy. I immediately got shears and pruned away. I was not going to continue victimizing myself with superstition. I’m going to learn better–how to care for this plant better and to maybe propagate more baby jade plants.

Subsequently, I’ve moved the pruned plant to a windowsill that also has a full-spectrum light above it. I’ve taken to rotating it regularly so the stems are forced to push themselves in various directions to get stronger. I put potting soil, stems, and leaves in small pots to begin new plants, putting enough in each one that if just one or two take, it’ll be a nice plant.

Later that same day, I looked up other meanings for jade besides “good fortune.” It is also a plant that represents resilience because it grows after being pruned and is easily propagated. It also signifies friendship when a plant is given as a wish for another’s good fortune. I hope I have the opportunity to share these plants with my dear friends. Bryan used to say “when there’s no way to tell for sure, go with the theory that makes you feel the best.” I’m betting on resilience and friendship every time!

My (Not So) Secret Garden

ferylfiles

When I was little, my Mama gave me some illustrated Frances Hodgson Burnett novels, namely A Little Princess and The Secret Garden. I love these stories for the resiliency and pluck of the main characters, but also for their hopefulness, even in solitude and loneliness. Maybe she was giving me a road map she knew I’d need. I’ve found healing in gardens and flowers. I know what it means to be in an untenable situation not of my choosing and how to both survive and thrive in spite of it. These are gifts that certainly endure.

More recently, I’ve been able to witness my cousin and her husband take a rough and abused house and grounds and convert them into the promise of something magical, much like the garden Mary Lennox discovers on her uncle’s property. Their sweat, tears, and laughter (and including a novice like me) ensure this will be a wondrous, welcoming place. In the process of watching the transformation of a wreck into a home, I’ve been inspired to do a small DIY project of my own. After Bryan passed, I moved my bedroom into what was once the office-catch-all-pantry-whatever room. One wall had a lot of patches and holes and needed some TLC. I knew I wanted to do something different, creative, floral, but it was just an idea until recently.

I went through all the steps. TSP wash, painters tape, priming the holes, patching the holes, cutting in the primer, rolling out the primer (a couple of times after a few minor setbacks and mishaps), cutting in the very dark, very dramatic color twice, rolling out twice, and then free-hand painting my own secret (but now that you know, not entirely secret) garden. I wanted something joyful to look at even on my darkest days, which there have been more than a few these past couple of months. This is a gift from me to me now and future me, too. I still have detail work and some leaves to round out the finish. I have a plug-in plate on order that will replace the cream-colored plastic one I got rid of. My sister encourages me to put a small writing desk in my bedroom. I just might do that.

[And if you get something extra out of my writing and would like to leave a tip, you’re welcome to do so here: https://venmo.com/u/Rebecca-Lubbers-1 ]