Time

Every day I get more stingy with my time. That’s the one commodity I have that becomes more scarce and precious with each passing day and I guard it carefully. Covid, cancer, conflict all underscore how precious time is. I think about the time I got to have with Bryan and how damned lucky I am to have had it. I think about the time spent with friends, family, beloved furry critters that claw up my furniture. Every beautiful moment is underscored by loss–a reminder of the fleeting nature of time and how absolutely sacred it is.

I don’t think I’ve arrived on some new territory here. People close to me have determined that they do not want to go back to work in an office, wasting time commuting, wasting time in irrelevant meetings, wasting time that could be more efficiently intertwined with the richness of life. Folks I admire don’t waste time on grudges. They don’t spend a single moment on petty garbage. They know time is short and dust that misery off their shoes. For some that means peace and reconciliation and for others that means healthy boundaries not spending time on things that continue to hurt.

Time is a commodity with a giant question mark. We have no idea how much each one of us gets. I ask myself a lot: what am I willing to sell my time for? What is a worthy exchange? I want to spend my time building and creating. I want to focus on things that bring joy to others and to me. I want to show up for my friends and family. Those are the things I will sell my time for. And yes, I will sell my time to make sure I have food, shelter, and clothing, because without those, time slips away a lot faster. But I also don’t want to waste my time in a life that makes me miserable and that I’m longing to escape for two weeks every year.

I am thankful for time so much so that I value it highly. I also consider it a gift when folks share their time with me because I know they have options, too. 🙂