Bones

Bryan loved the original Star Trek and I enjoyed watching it with him. His fondness for Spock is legendary. Mary’s mom once made him a costume for Halloween. We still have the prosthetic ears and glue somewhere in a bathroom cupboard. Bryan often echoed Spock’s cool logic and reason. He could engage with all sorts of people and use his analytical mind and rational persuasion to change opinions or at least cause some to reassess their opinions, no mean feat.

My favorite character, however, is Bones. The temperamental, Southern doctor is all passion and temper supported by intelligence and wit. I find it delightful how well matched Bryan and I were. And the best part is that Bryan was passion and temper, too. And I could be cool reason when the moment called.

That struggle between brain and heart is well-traveled terrain because that’s the whole of the human experience, isn’t it? I am overwrought with grief and guilt that my heart, my love was not enough to heal the person I loved most in the world. I couldn’t save him. I couldn’t. And I tried. My brain gently insists, um Becci, no one can heal what Bryan had. But my heart is having a hard time hearing it.